


He knows something is wrong.

by BLUKWolf



Series: rainy days (bloody tears) [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Hanahaki Disease, Hatake Kakashi Needs a Hug, Hatake Kakashi is Not Okay, Hatake Kakashi-centric, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M, Protective Uchiha Sasuke, They both deserve something so much better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26846803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BLUKWolf/pseuds/BLUKWolf
Summary: "I'm sorry, sensei."He pretends he doesn't notice the crack in her voice. He pretends it doesn't bury itself on his chest.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto
Series: rainy days (bloody tears) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1958311
Comments: 24
Kudos: 114





	He knows something is wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> Second part! Hope you enjoy it, and I'm sorry if I make someone cry<3

He remembers that day as clear as the sky, and it hurts, and although he's tried to forget it, he can't. 

He can't, because suddenly Naruto smiles at him with a smile worth the whole world, and there's none of that gleam of happiness the man came to associate with the blonde being around him. Suddenly Naruto's eyes doesn't sparkle every time he gazes at him, and his cheeks don't take on that adorable flush over whiskered cheeks he found mesmerizing. 

He can't forget it because suddenly Naruto doesn't look at him with what he knows now is love, but sadness. 

He remembers his words, his face. Remembers the way deep azure eyes had dulled, the light drained from them. 

Kakashi shakes his head and keeps moving, because there are things he still has to do, even though he'd prefer to be by Naruto's side right about now, watching over him and hearing him talk his ear off. 

He breathes in deeply, knowing there's still so much to do, especially when Tsunade called in "sick", spewing things about operations and blood and _he deserved better_ that Kakashi absolutely refuses to understand. 

(He can quite recall the look on Shizune's face, the way everything about her seemed wrong that morning after news about Naruto being in the hospital came through. He can't forget the way her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and even though Shikamaru had tried to say something, both women had brushed them away.

There was _something wrong_ going on there.)

"He screwed up." 

He stops without thinking, dread filling him up quickly. 

"How?" That's Shikamaru's voice, and Kakashi feels himself relaxing just a bit. "He's Naruto, for fuck's sake, he's not supposed to get surgery of all things." 

"He screwed up, and that's everything you need to know, Shikamaru." 

"Tsunade-sama–" 

"Enough!" 

It wasn't just him, Kakashi knows. He knows that tone of voice because he's heard it before. It grates on your nerves and crawls under your skin, makes itself at home in the space between your ribs and your heart. 

So he knows it wasn't just him who felt, and heard the way Tsunade's voice cracked, the way her fist connected angrily against the surface of the desk. 

"Enough, Shikamaru. Get the hell out of here right now or I'll throw you out the window!"

Kakashi stays long enough for Shikamaru to dash past him, not quite running but not walking either. He stays long enough to hear his Hokage come undone in the solitude of her office. 

He turns around and goes to where he wanted to since the beginning.

He has the sudden urge to see Naruto. 

.

("Ah! Ka-kashi-sensei!" 

Sakura says when they encounter each other outside of Naruto's room, his laugh spilling out the door the same way the rain did the day he was brought in. 

"Sakura" he smiles his eye-smile and tries to get past her. Tries being the key word because she's suddenly in front of him, blocking the entrance. "Sakura?" 

"Sorry, sensei. But Tsunade-sama doesn't allow anybody inside Naruto's room. Only staff authorized." 

Then he hears another voice, one he knows well. 

"Sasuke's in there." 

Sakura smiles a thin smile, and Kakashi can see the hurt in her eyes. 

"Yeah. He's the only one who can be in there but because he refused to leave, so Tsunade-sama didn't have any other option than to let him there." 

There's something wrong going on here, and he knows it when Sakura is unable to meet his eyes, when she shifts from foot to foot. 

"Maa, don't worry, Sakura-chan. I'll see him later, then."

He turns around and goes back on his way, his footsteps echoing inside his head. 

"I'm sorry, sensei." 

He pretends he doesn't notice the crack in her voice. He pretends it doesn't bury itself on his chest.)

.

Kakashi is a genius, that much is clear. He's a veteran, has worked himself to the bone more times than he can count, and sometimes he likes to use his privilege on certain circumstances just because he can. 

He knows he's going to be selected to be the Rokudaime, knows it the same way he knows his pack favorite foods, the scent his students have. He's a veteran, a good shinobi, and he knows to trust his gut when it tells him something is wrong. 

Something is wrong, and as the day pass, as Naruto continues to slip through clenched fists, he knows he's being left purposefully in the dark. 

.

He finds Sasuke first, because of course he does. 

His raven-haired renegade student stops in front of him, and there's something in his eyes that tells him he did something wrong. It reminds him of Sakura, shifting eyes and thin smiles. 

It reminds him of Shikamaru, wide-eyed and worried and pale, and of Tsunade-sama and her anger and shaking words and broken voice. 

"Maa, Sasuke. How–"

"Shut the fuck up." 

The words die an abrupt death in his mouth, because even though Sasuke had never been one for courtesy, he wasn't outright rude. Not like this. 

Ever so slowly, Kakashi straightens himself, looking into dark eyes and seeing his face being reflected back at him with fire burning around his figure. 

Sasuke looks angry, and _pained_ , and Kakashi can't remember a single time he's seen him like this before. 

"Sasuke. What is it with you today, uh?" 

"You are so–" His fists are shaking, his voice wavering, and if he didn't knew him better, Kakashi would think the raven-haired man was about to cry. "Fuck you, Kakashi." 

The words taste of venom, of broken hearts and cold hands. Kakashi feels himself going stiff, feels everything within him growing cold. Flames licking at his feet when the man in front of him morphs into someone else, with blue eyes and shiny hair.

He doesn't understand why is he seeing Naruto glaring at him with such a hard stare until Sasuke brushes past him, whispering aching words. 

"He's better off without you." 

There's something wrong. There's something wrong with him.

With Naruto. 

.

"Where's my team?"

"Sai, Sasuke and Naruto went out on a mission. Classified, so you know what that means." 

"Sakura?" 

"She and the Yamanaka girl are at the hospital overseeing a mental health program due to implementation this week."

"What about Tenzō?" 

Tsunade sighs before he even finishes, putting down her pen and breathing through her nose with what he now identifies as barely restrained annoyance. 

He waits, clenching his fists and stuffing them in his pockets, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself still. 

"What do you want, Kakashi?" She asks, sounding tired and wary and more than a little done. 

He inhales, hard, and tries and fails to stay composed. Because it's been nearly a week since Naruto came through the gates bleeding out on Sasuke's back, since he saw azure eyes looking at him with confusion and not love.

He knows it in his gut, in the way his heart clenches every time he thinks about the shining young man he let down that fateful day. 

"Why a surgery?" 

He needs to know. 

"Naruto is a jinchuuriki. Jinchuurikis don't need surgeries because they heal almost as quickly as they take damage. He's never needed more than a day at the hospital to get better." 

He needs to know _what_ is going on. 

"He looked at me with confusion. He looked lost, and he hesitated when I came into his room." His heart is picking up speed, and he can feel his eyes watering. Everything within him coming painfully undone. "Tsunade-sama, what is wrong with Naruto?" 

She looks tired, and her eyes are red, and why is it that he only notices it right now? When Kakashi's feeling his whole world crumbling around him without mercy, when there's a vice like grip clenching around his heart. 

She looks tired, and sad, and there's a small, exhausted smile twisting beautifully her lips.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi." 

He doesn't cry. He stays still and breathes in.

Then he shatters. 

.

It's raining, and he can't feel the drops soaking his clothes. Can't feel the coldness of the water and sharpness of the wind. He's aware enough of the rainy day going past him and the people shuffling along trying to get to a shelter. 

He needs to see him the same way he needs oxygen. 

He needs to see him smile, to hear his beautiful laugh like bells chiming in the wind. He needs to see how much he sparkles and how his azure, deep and beautiful eyes shine when he's happy. 

He needs to see Naruto and beg for forgiveness at his parents' graves, because Kakashi is an idiot and a coward and he took something way more precious than everything else. 

There's no one around when they come through the gates, there's no one around when Kakashi takes a shaky step towards them, when his tears mingle with the rain. 

There's no one around when he takes Naruto by the shoulders, when Sai has to bodily hold Sasuke back from wrenching him away from the blonde. 

Kakashi looks into beautiful blue eyes and ever so gently press their foreheads together. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so, _so sorry_ ," It hurts. It hurts so much when the man he loves blinks at him trying to recognize him, when deep azure eyes soften in understanding. It hurts so much he wants to throw up because he's smiling at him. "Please forgive me. Please, I–" 

Naruto's right there, in his arms, looking at him with a softness he doesn't deserve. 

"I love you, Naruto." 

So why does he feel so far away? 

**Author's Note:**

> Just for clarification: yes, Naruto forgets Kakashi.
> 
> But the reason why everyone seems so affected by the surgery, is because I added that twist to hanahaki where the surgery gets rid of all feeling of love, and that's implied on the first part, when Naruto's talking to Sasuke, so.
> 
> Leave a comment if you like it please!


End file.
